Jul 30, 2021
Marriage is hard enough without adding money to the mix. Unfortunately, money often complicates things more than it needs to. What we have found is that our differences within our marriage often manifest themselves through our finances.
1. Not taking the time to acknowledge our unique money culture/upbringing
In marriage, each person comes from a different financial culture or upbringing. We're not just talking rich, middle class, poor. There are different values and cultures within different social classes. Maybe your family really valued eating out, and spending money on these experiences out helped you feel bonded through those shared experiences.
Whether it was movies + snacks, small gifts, big Christmases, etc.; we all come into marriage with different expectations. In order to form the money culture in your marriage, you have to intentionally work together to design what that culture looks like. The first step is acknowledging and discussing our inherited money cultures.
2. Is it possible to achieve both partner's dreams in marriage?
Most couples have similar end financial goals in marriage (comfort, security, wealth, freedom, etc.), but they manifest in different ways with different paths on how to achieve such goals.
A lot of frustration can be avoided in marriage if couples create what we call a "financial roadmap."
The operative word for creating this roadmap is TOGETHER. Working together to create the step-by-step path toward your goals allows you to focus on each individual goal with excitement.
It's incredibly powerful to map out what each person's desires and goals are and see how they connect, can build upon each other, and help you get what you both want.
You can both achieve your financial dreams if you make the plan together. Start by making a wish list and looking for similarities.
3. One person carries ALL the financial knowledge
Personal finance is easy to outsource to your partner, especially when your spouse has a lot of interest in budgeting, tracking, and being in control. This is especially common if you don't really care to be involved.
However, money in marriage is not just you or your spouse's responsibility. You both need to be involved to some degree. Remember...TOGETHER.
When a spouse completely "outsources" money management to their partner, it creates conflict due to a lack of communication, and can create an unintentional mismatched power structure.
This doesn't mean you both need to pay the bills, transfer the money, or buy the groceries, but it does mean that the overall strategy, plan, and budget is intentionally designed by both of you.
Take time weekly to sit down and discuss your financial situation.
4. Not having a single, agreed-upon, focused financial goal
Nothing is more powerful in a marriage than when partners can work towards a single, agreed upon financial goal. This creates a unified, focused effort, that ripples through every other aspect of a marriage.
Working on achieving a goal together brings unity, love, care, and attention to the other person because achieving this goal reflects not only your commitment to it, but to each other. Ultimately shared financial goals build TRUST.
Instead of trying to achieve 3-5 financial goals at once, focus on one. Talk about what you will both do to achieve it, and when you would like to achieve it by. Then discuss your progress towards this goal at the end or beginning of each week.
If you make this a habit, you'll find there's nothing your marriage can't achieve.
Are you ready to create a plan that shows you HOW to save money without getting held back by unexpected expenses? We are excited to hang out LIVE with Dan and Kay and chat about it. Register for our FREE webinar happening Wednesday, August 4th at 8pm. Click here to register!
Dan & Kay are Financial Coaches with almost 1000 clients who live in Provo, Utah, with their 2 children. They enjoy traveling, teaching others about money, and reading an inordinate amount of books. You can learn more about their approach to personal finances by attending one of their free budgeting classes at: www.centseifinance.com/free-budgeting-class/