What Are The 3 Lies?

The Six Step Roadmap to Marriage Success

Apr 23, 2021

Build your roadmap to a Meaningful Marriage!

We developed the roadmap to marriage success and our course helps couples learn how to navigate it. Our self-led program is as simple as 6 conversations every couple should have in order to experience a more meaningful marriage. 

Marriage Mindset: Celebrate Together

Relationships require an intentional shift in the way we do life. Your marriage mindset is the foundation upon which all other things are built.

We are selfish creatures by nature, but if we enter into marriage for what it can do for us...we will be sorely disappointed.  Marriage isn't intended to make you happy.  Marriage is a complex contradiction that challenges us to become better versions of ourselves and do life alongside someone else who fills in our gaps.

Our marriage mantra is: If you work to meet the needs of your spouse, your needs will be more regularly met.  it's counter to our human nature, but this daily shift leads to marriage full of deep and lasting meaning.


Personality Differences: Permission to be you

Understanding each other gives us permission to be ourselves and adjust to better interact with our spouse. Our differences make us complimentary.

The reality is that the very things we love about the other person when dating become the the very things we can't stand a few years into marriage.  For some reason we extend a significant amount of grace and understanding before saying, "I do."  But for most couples it quickly shifts to "what have I done?!?!"

Most people marry someone because they seem so compatible.  We argue that compatibility vs incompatibility is the wrong metric for determining marriage fit.  Compatibility is fickle and can be on or off depending on which area of our relationship we focus on.  We teach and strive for being complimentary in our relationships.  This allows for a regular ebb and flow as we grow and change. 

Getting married shouldn't be an attempt to change the other person or for you to have to change who you are.  We should get married knowing full well who the other person is and accepting the good and the bad.



Talk & Fight Styles: More Than Words

Healthy relationships have fair expectations, navigate conflict together, and communicate both positive and negative emotions.

The goal of all relationships is not the absence of difficulty or conflict.  It should be how to best navigate these things together.  Communication and conflict are actually keys to deep meaning in all relationships, especially marriage.  We desire to equip couples with better communication skills (both listening and talking), as well as, rules for fighting fair. 

Mutual understanding is what enables couples to operate effectively—communication is like oil in an engine. This does not mean that you will always get along—you will get it right sometimes and wrong others. In fact, you will disagree, you will get upset with each other, and you will fight. Be sure to set that expectation fairly. When you start fighting, know that your marriage is not over. In fact, fighting provides many opportunities to grow together.



Upbringing: We are Family

Family is a crucial part of healthy relationships. We need to be intentional about how our upbringing shapes our marriage and how we raise our families. 

Family experiences influence our concepts of how marriage should be structured and how children should be raised. They impact how we view work, recreation, education, money, politics, and religion. No matter how long we have been married, we have to look at our families and decide either to repeat the patterns or intentionally avoid them. Sometimes family issues show up as times change, parents age, and kids grow.

In addition to family, our friends and social support play a huge part in our relationship health and fulfillment in life. If we turn all of our attention toward our kids and spouse, we can actually impact our marriage negatively because our expectations for a well rounded life are unmet. Healthy marriages usually have a healthy balance between mentors, confidants, and like-minded couples.

Family and faith are key areas for marriage success. REMINDER: There isn't necessarily a right answer to any of these things, other than being on the same page and continuing to navigate them together. If ever things shift or change, work through it together. Your relationship can weather the storms of disagreements as long as the primary decisions are being made as the family that is the 2 of you.


Money Moves: Can't Buy Me Love

Finances, budgeting, and career planning are all key actions for marriage. Making intentional money moves will set you up for a successful tomorrow.

One of the two major contributors to marriages falling apart is money. Most people would assume it has everything to do with not having enough, when in fact; it has everything to do with how it’s managed. Like everything in marriage, mismanaged expectations and lack of communication builds frustration, mistrust, and a great divide. This discussion is designed to open the conversation lines about how you view money, how you manage it, and how to have conversations about how it is spent.

Money can become the focus of life. It can be a pursuit that never ends and tears people apart.

When couples discuss the characteristics of their marriage or write a marriage vision, it rarely includes being rich, working their entire lives to be able to make ends meet, or keeping up with the Jones’s. Yet, as things get rolling, many couples find themselves pursuing those things and not the valued things listed prior to marriage.

Divorce, bankruptcy, and any form of “rock bottom” do not happen over night. It’s typically a result of several decisions adding up over time. In the same respect, getting in shape, becoming educated, and becoming wealthy do not happen instantly. This, too, is the result of many decisions adding up over time.


Love Life: Let's Talk About Sex

Develop healthy sex expectations and practices for your love life. Get on the same page when it comes to intimacy inside and outside the bedroom.

If it’s not money that drives a wedge in a relationship it is generally sex. Surprisingly, it's not a result of poor performance, preference for multiple partners, or lack of attraction. Like almost anything in marriage, perspective and mismanaged expectations can result in the above issues and worse. Our goal in this conversation is not a “how-to” session, but rather the opportunity to talk openly about your view and expectations for sex in a marriage context. The goal of this conversation is to help couples talk about healthy, married sex.

Great sex begins with a great relationship. We can never experience truly satisfying and fulfilling sex apart from relationship. Furthermore, both relationship and satisfying sex mean turning the primary focus from meeting one’s own needs, to serving your spouse and working to serve him/her and meet his/her needs. Good sex is other-centered; it allows you to focus solely on your spouse. 

Couple's usually want to know if they are "normal" when it comes to sex. The problem is there is no exact number for frequency that leads to satisfaction. This is an important topic to discuss and decide what works best for you.


We want to help couples navigate these conversations and our program is designed to allow couples to revisit them time and again to maintain a healthy and meaningful existence.  Whether you're preparing to get married, just getting started, or have a lot of time on the water; intentional investment in these 6 conversation topics can change your marriage for the better.



Take YOUR relationship from "BAD to GOOD" or "GOOD to BETTER."

This FREE discovery guide is the perfect starting point for couples with a 
deep desire to experience marriage success!

This is what you'll learn...

✓  The 3 RELATIONSHIP KILLERS affecting your marriage.

✓  The 3 LIES we believe about marriage.

✓  The 3 ANTIDOTES for improving your marriage.

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